Written on 08/08/08
Mirror, mirror, on the wall..... who is the biggest nutcase of them all?
We have 3 candidates. It's a tough choice, but you decide. Please provide me feedback on your decision and rationale for your choice.
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Contestant # 1
Nancy Pelosi: "Drilling is a hoax", "it's about saving the planet"
She demonstrated her commitment to saving energy by turning off the lights and C-Span cameras on the Republicans who were trying to get an energy bill passed and promptly began her 5 week vacation. She has rejected calls for a simple up or down vote on energy bills; I'm assuming this is because when they use those electronic devices they use electricity and therefore further destroy the planet.
I guess she also didn't notice that there are many oil rigs in the Gulf and around the world being operated today and the planet is still here and yes beaches are still open. With today's technology there are few spills and if there is one they clean it up. Also, I guess she didn't read where more oil actually seeps up through the ocean floor when there are no oil rigs in the area to relieve the pressure.
How about this...let's shut down all drilling for 30 days around the world to see if drilling is in fact a "hoax" as Speaker Pelosi asserts.
Contestant # 2
Barack Obama: inflating our tires and getting tune-ups would save just as much oil as off-shore drilling.
He also said after becoming the presumptive nominee for the democratic party, "I am absolutely certain that, generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children.......this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal…"
No figures were given about what percentage of tires are low and by what percentage of recommended tire pressure they are low and correlated this to the miles driven, average miles per gallon, etc., to arrive at this conclusion. I'm sure that he also did not factor in the fact that a significant portion of the population is not going to change their habits regarding keeping their tires inflated thereby crippling any savings he is counting on through his inflation program.
Also I suppose he didn't get the memo that for the last 20 years most new autos have fuel injection and electronics that make tune-ups unncessary for years (most manufacturers recommend the first real tune-up at 100,000 miles). Again, where is his data to back this up, to include the percentage of cars not running at peak efficiency, etc?
I guess it's now a race between him and Pelosi; she has staked out a strategy of saving the planet while he has decided to go with healing the planet.
Jesus healed a few sick people, but Barack doesn't bother with the small stuff. He operates on a more strategic level.
Contestant # 3
John Edwards: I only had a short affair with this woman in 2006. The baby is not mine.
Yes that is why he was observed sneaking in the hotel through a service elevator at 09:45 pm to visit the woman for 5 hours. Then when trying to sneak back out he was caught by reporters and ran to hide in a bathroom, later to be escorted out by security guards.
You see, when you have a "short affair" in 2006 with someone while your wife is suffering with cancer, you simply must meet this person again in 2008 at a hotel room to talk over old times and how that you had a short affair a couple of years ago, but thank goodness it is over now. Plus you simly must spend some time seeing and holding another man's illegitimate child.
Only a test will determine if it was his baby; she may have been having an affair with half the campaign staff for all we know. But to say the affair was over in 2006 when you have just been caught a couple of weeks ago spending 5 hours in a hotel with her qualifies you as contestant number 3 in the nutcase sweepstakes.
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OK, friends cast your ballot. Please provide me feedback on your decision and rationale for your choice by responding to this email. I'll call this a poor man's version of Leno's Man on the Street interviews that he used to do for the Tonight show, you know, to get the pulse of the population so to speak.
J. Cogburn
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